I have often heard my pastor talk about how, when he was in college, before he met his wife, he decided to "date Jesus" instead of just going out with girls like he used to and most of his friends were. He says he would get a new christian book every Friday night and would read it instead of going out. When I first heard this my initial reaction was "hey that's cool...glad I don't have to do that". I had a boyfriend, and even if I didn't, I thought, I have enough single friends to always have plans on a Friday.
Since that time a lot has happened. I am a single girl now and have a very different view on dating thanks to books (particularly When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy... a title I still cringe at but decided to read after prodding from friends), very wise people who have graced my life with their advice, and what can really only be attributed to the Holy Spirit's work in this area of my life. I now hold a view that I once scoffed at: I am going to actually trust God with my love life...something I thought I had been doing for quite a while. Here's what this amounts to:God will put the man I am to spend my life submitting to while we both submit to God (another changed perspective for another blog) in my life in his time. Until then I don't plan on dating anyone...except Jesus. How will I know when I have met this man? I believe God will give me some discernment and him as well. I know, it sounds really crazy. I think it's crazy...very well meaning Christian folks are going to tell me it's crazy and that I am NOT just going to "know". I don't think God will reveal His whole plan to me in this and I may feel "lead" to date the wrong one. The next guy I am in a relationship with may not be the one, but I am not going to date anyone else without some serious leading and prayerful consideration...until then I am going to date Jesus (maybe not in the same way as my pastor but I still like the analogy).
When a person is seriously dating someone they are together a lot, they go on dates, they call each other, they spend money on each other, they drive to the other person's house in the middle of the night to apologize or clarify, they daydream about one another. Basically, pursuing a relationship with someone= any free time, energy, emotion, resources go to them and doing it joyfully. So, when you aren't in a relationship you have a bit of free time, emotion, and well...money on your hands. Who better to spend these things on than God? I just think one day when I get to heaven and I meet my God we will be able to look back on this time of "singleness" and remember how good they were, how I didn't waste (more) of my time on stagnant relationships, but how I was able to get to know my Creator so much better during this time. I am in a unique place in my life when I can give all of this extra energy and emotion to God. My only prayer is that God would continue to encourage me (and whoever he has for me) in this period of singleness, because, let's face it, I DO desire my future husband, and I DO get very lonely sometimes. I am so thankful, too, for incredible, faithful, inspiring (did I mention single?) girl friends God has put in my life recently to encourage me daily, keep me company, and keep me sane. I love you girls.
....I have no idea what this blog will look like, how often I'll update, or what I'll talk about. Usually I journal but the reason for this blog is to share the evidence of absolute GRACE in my life. It's all grace. I am so blessed and I don't deserve ANY of it.
